How Being Civilized Limits Our Ecstasy
What if all of our civilized, polite and controlled ways were actually getting in the way of our experiencing divine ecstasy? Imagine that all of these “good” things we do to “make other people more comfortable” and to act “properly” and like “good citizens” are precisely what is standing in the way of experiencing bliss?
Why is this?
Because the goal of tantra is to experience the divine within us… The divine soul within us is not part of this society. It has no roles to play. It has no rules and moral codes. It is pure energy here to be experienced and explored.
But we are raised in a society that thrives on rules and norms and acceptable behaviours. Trying to fit our souls into that box is like holding a waterfall back by a dam… It will work for a time, but either the waterfall will just die out or the waterfall will break through the dam.
This is where tantra starts to become healing.. Because as the waterfall that is us is restrained, parts of us start to die. Parts of us start to twist to try to find a way around the dam. We feel frustrated and angry and fearful. Why? Because we know that we are not free. The very reason that our souls came to this planet cannot be fulfilled because we have allowed ourselves to be put in a very small limited box. But we are actually infinite beings capable of things far beyond society’s imaginings.
And so the answer is to become less civilized.
What? But what if we do crazy things? What if we start killing people? What if we…. what if we… what if we…?
Even the word uncivilized has come to mean bad, unpredictable, savage, dangerous…
Here is the greatest fear. Here is what is the great disconnect that keeps us bound. We believe that if we followed our soul, our heart, our intuition, that bad things would happen. We believe that by living according to society’s norms, we are safe… We are protected. We will be “good” people.
But uncivilized just means to act according to an inner drive, not society’s ideals…
And so there is some real soul-searching required to follow the path of tantra.
Questions to Ask yourself:
Do you believe that your soul is inherently evil or good? Or do those judgements even apply? Is the soul just the soul… And is that divine energy beyond all thoughts of good and bad?
Can you live with that? Can you live your life listening inside and trusting that your calling is what you are meant to do regardless of what it looks like on the outside?
Why do you think you are here on this Earth? Tantrikas would say it is to live from that soul’s place… to live from your nature. To explore this amazing world raw and like a child… Or are you here to play to the crowd’s expectations of you? To fit into society… even at the cost of your soul’s path.
Let’s get Sexy for a Moment…
Let’s take two intimate scenarios… One between two very civilized people and one between two “uncivilized tantrikas”…
1) We are Civilized:
We are conscious of what the other person is thinking of us. We are quiet because we don’t want to make funny sounds. We have a plan that will bring the other person pleasure. We try to do everything right. We are worried that the other person isn’t enjoying it. We might be self-conscious of our body… We tend to keep to the “normal” path… no kinkiness or weird ideas about what might turn us on…
Our brains are not thinking. We are fully in the body. We feel each others’ touch. We breath each others’ breath. We moan, we groan, we make whatever sounds happen to emit out of us… Our bodies move together finding pleasure without any thought… (this is physical pleasure… the mind has no place here)… The bodies find pleasure spots and play there… more sound.. more breathing… both bodies are completely alive… The bodies just flow together losing each other in the movement and sound. They are fully present… No thoughts… just pleasure.. happiness, joy, bliss…
So, what stands in our way of just letting go like that? Mostly fears… Fears of looking silly, of being weird, of being rejected, of being thrown from the crowd, of being judged…
That is just a sexy example… But it applies to all aspects of our lives… How we look, what we do for a living, how we treat our children, how we greet our day…
What would your life look like if you allowed yourself to be less civilized? What would you no longer do? What would you no longer care about? What could you let go of?
Just close your eyes for a moment and let all rules, expectations and civilized thought go. Just breath deeply. Just feel your soul… that still place deep inside of you.. and just breathe… And then feel joy. Feel happiness.
Then breathe really deeply and feel ecstasy. Feel your body come alive with energy…
So why are you here?
To fit in? To get through the day?
Or to feel ecstasy in every moment?
Because it truly is up to us.