Tantra is often relegated to the world of right-brained hippies and yogis. People have often said to me, “Oh I know someone who would be right in to THAT kind of thing.” There’s a belief that you have to be a little flaky, artistic and lacking a real scientific mind to be “INTO” something like tantra… But the truth is that tantra is worthy of the greatest scientific study.
There was a time when the great thinkers, philosophers and scientists explored the unknown worlds. Science was about doing experiments based on inspired thought. It was based on following hunches and experiences that they couldn’t explain.
Today, we study science to know what has already been discovered and understood. We have a sense that we understand the world and how it works. In many ways, we have forgotten the excitement and thrill of exploration and discovery that truly defines what science actually is!
And tantra is truly an exploration of the unknown.
“The Joy of Sex” vs Tantric Sexuality:
Our society teaches us to “know what we’re doing”. We need to be “good” at things if we’re going to do them. We have to “do the research” before getting into something…
And the same goes for our sexuality. Due to our primal wiring, we know how to have procreative sex. The next step is “get good at it”… So we read “The Joy of Sex”, articles on “How to please your man/woman”, watch movies, porn, etc so that we can pick up tricks to please our partners and increase our own enjoyment.
But exploring tantra is different. There are no tricks. There are no rules. The options and possibilities are infinite.
In fact, it’s more about unlearning everything you’ve ever known or been taught about sex, so that you are laid bare and open to new and unimaginable possibilities.. (This is very similar to a scientist who wants to discover something… They will get rid of all the known scientific ideas and “go back to first principles”… In this place, they are laid bare and open to inspiration, new thoughts and unexpected breakthroughs!)
Our Brains Can’t Play with Infinity:
In science, we know the classic examples of when scientists have “Eureka” breakthroughs! (In the year 25o BC, Archimedes was in the local bath (relaxing his brain) when he suddenly realized the answer to a question that the king had given him to solve… and he allegedly ran home naked yelling “Eureka!!”)
Similarly, we must be able to turn our brains off in tantra if we want to have “that incredibly tantric out-of-body experience”. Our brains create expectations and goals that limit our experience and cut us off from the infinite possibilities. We are so much more than our brains can even fathom. And the possibilities are so much more than we can plan for or orchestrate!
Of course, the challenge is that we value security and pride. So, turning our brains off in order to experience something brand new takes an incredible amount of courage, safety and vulnerability. And we aren’t often comfortable with this level of vulnerability and openness.
But this is why tantra is a SPIRITUAL pursuit. By integrating the spiritual parts of us into our reality, we draw courage from this infinite part of ourselves. Our brains can’t understand it. But when we feel rooted and encompassed by that energetic/spiritual essence, there are no fears, no worries… just love.
Where to Start? It Starts with a Hunch:
All scientists start with a hunch – an idea that just won’t leave them alone.
Similarly, many people who study tantra start with a similar hunch. We know that there is more out there. We know that something else is possible – something deeper, something incredible, something full of fireworks and life-fulfilling…
We start to seek. We take courses, read books, talk to people.. until something “rings true”.. something matches the hunch inside of us.
Now for the Experiment:
So then the scientists sets up the experiment – trying to be as unbiased as possible. Otherwise, he will not see the true results. He will miss the actual truth of the experiment. The more open-minded he is, the more incredible the results can be.
As it is with us in tantric intimacy. We create the foundation for our experiment. We set our intentions to “Discovery Mode”. We release all of our ideas and trappings from the outside world. We deeply connect with another human… and then see where it leads.
And the possibilities are endless. You literally “can’t step into the same river twice”. The challenge is to allow the flow.. to go where the experiment leads. To trust and let go.
Sometimes it simply is a lovely love-making session. Sometimes there are healing tears. Sometimes it’s frustrating as we observe and hit internal walls… And sometimes… Mmmmmmm… Sometimes you just can’t put into words what happens!!
This is the Point of Tantra:
Tantra is the exploration of things that we’ve never experienced before… sensations we’ve never had… feelings of divine connection impossible to put into words… and connection with each other that just doesn’t fit into any known boxes..
Tantra says: Bring it ALL together. Become whole. Expand into your true self.
Tantric Intimacy says: Now find another. Combine these incredible energies.
Science then says: Now let’s see what happens!!!
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