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Tantra Articles

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From Trespass to Consent to True Desire

Learning about consent is a common topic for courses and workshops these days. And it’s definitely important after years of not thinking it mattered. But the final destination isn’t consent. It is actually honouring true desire. Let’s Redefine Masculine & Feminine The masculine and feminine are simply two parts of a whole. When they play together in union, we create a “oneness” - a state of true happiness and bliss. “Masculine” and “feminine” describe how we relate to each other every time we interact. If we aren’t being “masculine” or “feminine”, then we aren’t actually interacting with someone, we [...]

By | 2019-01-17T22:40:49+00:00 January 17th, 2019|Intimacy, Masculine & Feminine, Relationships, Sexuality|Comments Off on From Trespass to Consent to True Desire
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A Meditation to Clear Your Mind

It may sound crazy, but we are going to let Bob Newhart help us to clear our mind in meditation. I am sharing a clip from his TV-show "Newhart" that, strangely enough, will help us get rid of all the drama, chatter, and unnecessary information that is constantly taking us out of the present moment, exhausting us, and keeping us from the peace that is right inside all of the time. It is a meditation called "Neti-Neti". Neti-neti is a sanskrit phrase that means "not this, not that". To use it in meditation is to sit quietly breathing and whenever [...]

By | 2018-12-31T09:58:46+00:00 December 30th, 2018|Meditation, Mystic Life, Spirituality|Comments Off on A Meditation to Clear Your Mind
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Let’s Get Naked & Nosey

My good friend recently posted on Facebook that her six-year-old son was asking whether she and daddy had sex. Not knowing what to say, she asked him what he thought sex was. He said, "When you guys get naked and nosey." My comment was that this was the most beautiful description of true intimacy that I could imagine. When we want to learn about tantra or simply improve our relationship, we are often looking for complex tricks or changes that will make all the difference. But the truth is, if we all just took some time to enjoy getting [...]

By | 2018-10-02T19:28:02+00:00 January 29th, 2018|Intimacy, Sexuality, Spirituality, tantra|Comments Off on Let’s Get Naked & Nosey
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A Graceful Exit – Divorcing in Love

Whenever I told people that we were separating, the overwhelming response was, “OMG what happened? You guys were SUCH A GREAT COUPLE!” The assumption was that there had to be “something” that “broke us up”. But the truth was, after over 20 years, whether we wanted it or not, our paths had diverged. It was the clearest moment when I knew that it was over. I wanted something. He didn't want it. There was a passive power struggle (we were both peace-keepers). And the realization hit me that we actually wanted different things in life now. Our children were nearly [...]

By | 2018-05-21T21:49:33+00:00 January 8th, 2018|Relationships, tantra|Comments Off on A Graceful Exit – Divorcing in Love
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Finding Love May Require an Upgrade

People are always asking me how they can find someone to love. They ask if I think there is anyone out there who is "normal", not crazy and who actually wants to get to know someone? The challenge is real. Some people are out there looking to meet people through dating apps or friends. Others live passively through the same dating apps and sites, chatting with potential partners but never intending on meeting them. Many have lost hope that there is anyone out there for them. But it isn't true. There are millions of single people out there. And [...]

By | 2018-06-14T13:47:04+00:00 November 29th, 2017|Dating, Intimacy|Comments Off on Finding Love May Require an Upgrade
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Why Many Women Don’t Have Orgasms

Did you know that only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic during sexual intercourse? According to an analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years by Elisabeth Lloyd in her book The Case of the Female Orgasm, 50% of women have orgasms sometimes, 20% seldom do and 5% never have orgasms. Can you imagine? As I travelled around the world attending workshops in tantra and conscious sexuality, there were always a number of women who couldn't feel pleasure because their clitoris and vagina were completely numb and there was at least one woman at every retreat who had NEVER [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:43:19+00:00 November 19th, 2017|Intimacy, Sexuality|Comments Off on Why Many Women Don’t Have Orgasms
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Wanting Divine Union Doesn’t Make You Needy

You love your partner. You want to connect with them deeply. But maybe they are busy - they work a lot. Or you are in an open relationship and they have other partners (There are many happy open relationships. But where jealousy is a big problem, we need to look deeper). Or they are simply distracted from your relationship by a thousand other things. Does this make you "needy" or "jealous"? No. It makes you fully human. Because humans are designed to connect deeply. Merging is not Co-dependence. Co-dependence is when two people need to be together [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:44:15+00:00 November 12th, 2017|Intimacy, Sexuality|Comments Off on Wanting Divine Union Doesn’t Make You Needy
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The Inner Strength to Be Vulnerable in Relationships

Tantric Intimacy holds the potential to connect us completely. We drop our guards and allow our whole self to flow into another person as we totally receive them as well. This creates a seemingly magical circuit of loving energy that can take us to infinite, wondrous places. This is very simple to say and completely natural for us to do. Yet, we struggle. How can we be safe to do this? How can I be open when I don't know if I can trust this other person completely? What if I get hurt? What if I give myself completely, [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:44:51+00:00 October 10th, 2017|Intimacy, Philosophy|Comments Off on The Inner Strength to Be Vulnerable in Relationships
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If You’re Dying to Sleep with Them, RUN!!

What do we look for first in a romantic partner? Sexual chemistry? Attraction? But what if these are the wrong things if we are actually seeking romantic love and tantric intimacy? My teacher once said, "If you meet someone and you immediately are dying to jump into bed with them, then RUN THE OTHER DIRECTION!" What? This seems so counter-intuitive. And yet if we listen to our stories of meeting people, having great chemistry and then getting sexy, what is the rest of the story most of the time? "And then it just died. He never called back. It's like [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:45:29+00:00 February 16th, 2017|Intimacy, Sexuality|Comments Off on If You’re Dying to Sleep with Them, RUN!!
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Celibacy on the Tantric Path

Have you ever considered taking a time of celibacy? It's a fascinating question because it seems counter to everything that we desire when we start studying tantra. Many of us start studying tantra because we hear about the incredible sex and hour-long orgasms. Why would we ever want to be celibate? Because the magic of tantra is about breaking free of limitations and old patterns. It's about personally challenging our beliefs, fears, and desires. It's about changing, expanding and truly taking ourselves to a new level. And celibacy is a fascinating "worm-hole" to get us there. Many great [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:46:53+00:00 October 12th, 2016|Tantric Transformation|Comments Off on Celibacy on the Tantric Path
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