Intimacy

/Intimacy

Demisexuals Rising Amidst the Robots

Demi-sexual = someone who does not experience sexual attraction to another person unless or until they have formed an emotional connection with that person. Recently a friend asked me if I had heard of this new term being used on dating apps - demisexual. He was absolutely blown away that because he actually wanted to have an emotional connection with someone before having sex, he was now considered worth labelling - like this was a strange thing that needed to be pointed out. He asked me what I thought of this - as a woman but also as a teacher of [...]

By | 2019-09-06T22:51:53+00:00 September 6th, 2019|Dating, Intimacy, Relationships, Sexuality, tantra|Comments Off on Demisexuals Rising Amidst the Robots

Tantra is a Bridge to a New Way of Loving

Tantra is a bridge between the old way of loving to a new possibility. It is a possibility that we have had glimpses of or maybe what we have just imagined was possible. Kindness and loving intimacy all day long. Lovemaking that was not only totally satisfying but that truly nourished you and made you happier and more peaceful. Tantra is a bridge from the relationships of the past that were often built on obligation or the need to have a partner - either to have children or simply be part of what society expected. Marriage became an institution. [...]

By | 2019-09-04T15:32:48+00:00 September 4th, 2019|Dating, Intimacy, Masculine & Feminine, Relationships, Sexuality, Spiritual Growth, Spirituality, tantra|Comments Off on Tantra is a Bridge to a New Way of Loving

Why We Focus on the Feminine in Tantra

I was recently reading comments in a Facebook group where people were arguing about the “incessant focus on the feminine”. It began as a series of angry responses to someone posting an article about physical abuse towards women. Someone asked why this was in a tantra group. What did this have to do with tantra? So why is the feminine so important in tantra? And why is this article of abuse actually an important topic to bring up? The Foundation of Tantra There are two main focuses in tantra at a foundational level. First, [...]

By | 2019-08-31T13:20:23+00:00 August 31st, 2019|Dating, Intimacy, Masculine & Feminine, Relationships, Sexuality, Spiritual Growth, Spirituality, tantra|Comments Off on Why We Focus on the Feminine in Tantra

The Communication of Eye-Gazing

So why do we really eye-gaze in tantric practice? I’ve always known that it was important but it's always been difficult to fully explain why and what is “supposed to happen”. We talk about the eyes being the "windows of the soul", so perhaps we are connecting souls. We need to learn how to be vulnerable and staring into someone’s eyes creates that. We cannot lie with our eyes and so maybe we are learning honesty. We need to practise full focus on the other, so perhaps this is good to do. And beyond all of [...]

By | 2019-08-26T10:34:09+00:00 August 26th, 2019|Dating, Intimacy, Relationships, Sexuality, tantra|Comments Off on The Communication of Eye-Gazing

From Trespass to Consent to True Desire

Learning about consent is a common topic for courses and workshops these days. And it’s definitely important after years of not thinking it mattered. But the final destination isn’t consent. It is actually honouring true desire. Let’s Redefine Masculine & Feminine The masculine and feminine are simply two parts of a whole. When they play together in union, we create a “oneness” - a state of true happiness and bliss. “Masculine” and “feminine” describe how we relate to each other every time we interact. If we aren’t being “masculine” or “feminine”, then we aren’t actually interacting with someone, we [...]

By | 2019-01-17T22:40:49+00:00 January 17th, 2019|Intimacy, Masculine & Feminine, Relationships, Sexuality|Comments Off on From Trespass to Consent to True Desire

Let’s Get Naked & Nosey

My good friend recently posted on Facebook that her six-year-old son was asking whether she and daddy had sex. Not knowing what to say, she asked him what he thought sex was. He said, "When you guys get naked and nosey." My comment was that this was the most beautiful description of true intimacy that I could imagine. When we want to learn about tantra or simply improve our relationship, we are often looking for complex tricks or changes that will make all the difference. But the truth is, if we all just took some time to enjoy getting [...]

By | 2018-10-02T19:28:02+00:00 January 29th, 2018|Intimacy, Sexuality, Spirituality, tantra|Comments Off on Let’s Get Naked & Nosey

Finding Love May Require an Upgrade

People are always asking me how they can find someone to love. They ask if I think there is anyone out there who is "normal", not crazy and who actually wants to get to know someone? The challenge is real. Some people are out there looking to meet people through dating apps or friends. Others live passively through the same dating apps and sites, chatting with potential partners but never intending on meeting them. Many have lost hope that there is anyone out there for them. But it isn't true. There are millions of single people out there. And [...]

By | 2018-06-14T13:47:04+00:00 November 29th, 2017|Dating, Intimacy|Comments Off on Finding Love May Require an Upgrade

Why Many Women Don’t Have Orgasms

Did you know that only 25% of women are consistently orgasmic during sexual intercourse? According to an analysis of 33 studies over the past 80 years by Elisabeth Lloyd in her book The Case of the Female Orgasm, 50% of women have orgasms sometimes, 20% seldom do and 5% never have orgasms. Can you imagine? As I travelled around the world attending workshops in tantra and conscious sexuality, there were always a number of women who couldn't feel pleasure because their clitoris and vagina were completely numb and there was at least one woman at every retreat who had NEVER [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:43:19+00:00 November 19th, 2017|Intimacy, Sexuality|Comments Off on Why Many Women Don’t Have Orgasms

Wanting Divine Union Doesn’t Make You Needy

You love your partner. You want to connect with them deeply. But maybe they are busy - they work a lot. Or you are in an open relationship and they have other partners (There are many happy open relationships. But where jealousy is a big problem, we need to look deeper). Or they are simply distracted from your relationship by a thousand other things. Does this make you "needy" or "jealous"? No. It makes you fully human. Because humans are designed to connect deeply. Merging is not Co-dependence. Co-dependence is when two people need to be together [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:44:15+00:00 November 12th, 2017|Intimacy, Sexuality|Comments Off on Wanting Divine Union Doesn’t Make You Needy

The Inner Strength to Be Vulnerable in Relationships

Tantric Intimacy holds the potential to connect us completely. We drop our guards and allow our whole self to flow into another person as we totally receive them as well. This creates a seemingly magical circuit of loving energy that can take us to infinite, wondrous places. This is very simple to say and completely natural for us to do. Yet, we struggle. How can we be safe to do this? How can I be open when I don't know if I can trust this other person completely? What if I get hurt? What if I give myself completely, [...]

By | 2018-01-08T23:44:51+00:00 October 10th, 2017|Intimacy, Philosophy|Comments Off on The Inner Strength to Be Vulnerable in Relationships