So How Do we Start?
1) Look Into People’s Eyes
Eye gazing is one of the first things we do when studying tantric intimacy.. Why? Because we immediately recognize the soul in the other person. No matter what issues and fears we may have, when we simply gaze into the eyes of another, we soon realize that they are just souls too… They are just souls bumbling along trying to figure out their way on this planet… That there is nothing to judge. There is nothing to worry about. We all have hurts. We all have emotions. We all have challenges that we are working on. But when we connect eye-to-eye and soul-to-soul, our deepest, purest selves get to connect… And we know that we are not alone. That others understand.
2) Be kind and compassionate with yourself
Love is always compassionate and kind. But we have to start with us. When we can truly look at ourselves with kindness and non-judgement… our gifts and our challenges, our triumphs and our regrets… then we will find deep love and compassion for our own little souls… Once we can do that, when we connect with others, we will immediately have compassion for them. We won’t want to judge them, because we understand how hard things get. We won’t think that they are wrong because we understand how every decision we made in our lives brought us somewhere on our path… Was there any right or wrong steps? Hard to say… This is true kindness and compassion… And that is where true love lives.
3) Slow Down
Really take time to be with people. It might be your romantic partner or your children or a friend. But when you are with them, actually ARRIVE. Be there. Realize how fortunate you are to have this person in your life. Be grateful that you get to spend this time with them. To actually get to connect with another human being is a most sacred experience… all of the time. To look into their eyes when you’re speaking. To truly listen. To genuinely respond and have a true interchange of ideas, truths and inner thoughts.. This is a phenomenal opportunity to feel close, connected and loved… And it could be with anyone.
4) Make Love
When you have a chance to be intimate with someone, imagine truly making love. When we just “have sex”, there are intentions, a plan, and certain requirements that have to be met for it to be “successful”… How about just letting all of that go. What if the intention of being together was to share love? What if just simply getting to be naked with another human was a miracle? What if getting to touch the skin and feel electricity through your body was amazing? What if getting to kiss this other beautiful human was the most amazing thing? What if you just made out for hours.. no goals.. no “needs being met”… just a continuous blur of loving the other person in a hundred different ways… And what if at some point you just lay together and cuddled… no pressure of orgasm and ejaculation.. just another opportunity to love another and feel loved…
We are capable of phenomenal love right now.
We have all the tools right within us.
All we need to do is connect, be kind and compassionate, slow down, and make love as often as we possibly can.